Quick Tips to Connect with Your Kids
In the melting pot of meetings, deadlines, and after school clubs, many parents and carers carry a quiet but heavy question in their hearts: Have I connected enough with my kid today?
Thankfully meaningful connection isn’t measured in hours or activities shared – it’s built in moments. Here’s how to make the moments that you do have, count:
Lead with Presence, Not Perfection
Children don’t need elaborate plans or a jam-packed schedule of activities. They need you to be present, attentive, and available. Spending the first five minutes after being at work and school, together without screens, a wink over the dinner table, or sitting beside them as they draw, is more meaningful and has a deeper impact than one hour of time spent multi-tasking.
Try this: When you get home, before doing anything else say, “I’ve been looking forward to seeing you all day.” This shows your child that you still love and care for them even when you are apart – a powerful thing for a child.
Create Micro-Rituals
Connection thrives on reliability and predictability. Short rituals or routines offer security and togetherness, a sense of belonging, even on those most chaotic days.
-Leaving a note or joke in their lunchbox to find.
-A two-minute bedtime routine called Talk Time: “What was your favourite part of
today?”, “What do you wish I had seen today at school?”
– A family game that you play during car rides.
These become reliable, predictable and reassurance moments of connection, reminding your child that they are important and loved, giving you meaningful connection in minutes. They’ll often be the things they remember of their childhood too.
Use Transitions to Connect
Transitions – waking up, saying goodbye, or winding down at night—are great opportunities for connection. Instead of: “Go to sleep! It’s late!” try: “I love snuggling you up for bed – what makes you
feel the most cozy?”
Be Child-Led
Often our expectations and agenda can sabotage the limited time that we have with our
children. Let your child take the lead – follow their their interests and ideas – I bet you end up
learning a thing or two! Say yes to their invitation to play for five minutes. Let them show you football cards or tell you all about their school topic. When they feel understood, they feel valued and loved.
Repair When Things Go Wrong (and they will).
All humans get distracted and overwhelmed sometimes, parents and carers are no exception to that rule – no matter how much we tell ourselves that it should be otherwise! What matters most is not perfection, but connection. Reconnecting through repair (an apology, hug or olive branch of sorts) after a hard moment is a powerful lesson in love, relationships and resilience.
Try saying this: “I’m sorry I was grumpy with you earlier. I was feeling really stressed, but my feelings are my responsibility and you didn’t deserve that.”
Connection isn’t about creating and giving more time to your kids – it’s about being intentional with the time that you do have. These are the moments that create lasting memories and relationships. Showing up when you can, in a predictable and reliable way is far more important than showing up to everything.
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